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M. was a big mistake, I should know better than seduce him when he is not awake. He then went on to complain that I should not have maxed out all five credit cards. He also grumbled that I had the audacity to call him four naughty words; three he just knew were cuss words in French. He’d better get away from me or I might give him two more black eyes. After all, I am not a happy camper; that’s while I filed the divorce decree!On the ninth day of Christmas, My true love told me he was going to a strip joint to see nine women dancing, because he was tired of listening to me nag at him. Afterwards he wasn’t coming home until he was ready which meant to me, he was going to visit that his new lover for eight more hours of hot sex. You know the woman he met seven months, ago. Adding he was sleeping in the guest room so I could not seduce him at six a.m. anymore. I’m glad I maxed out those five credit card bills. After that, I’m going to call him four more naughty words, and cuss him out. I had told her we had figured out a way to keep the dough on the hook, but hadn’t gone into details. When she got home she tore the house up looking for my stash, not knowing it was all at the bait shed.The condoms came into play by accident. Zippy grabbed the wrong bucket and didn’t realize it until he got to the pond, so he put in a panic call to Billy, because he lived near their house, telling him to grab an extra bucket before he went to the pond he was going to fish.Billy dropped the bait off, and then they found out they didn’t pack the pantyhose. Zippy was about to give up in disgust when Billy smiled. He went back to his truck and pulled out a package. It was a six pack of condoms. “You’re here, you might as well try,” said Billy grinning.It took three before they got it right, tying it tightly to the hook and putting tiny cuts around the sides. To their surprise, it worked really well, lasting longer than the pantyhose. We each started carrying a pair of pantyhose and a.
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